A New Post when it's not Friday yet!

It's not yet Friday.
And no shopping downtown this Friday.
But still a post anyway.
It has been some sort of a week.
Got my hardware project report ready on Monday morning after pulling an almost all-nighter. Napped for 3 hrs and then got myself ready to go to my alma-mater's reception downtown (it's one-lot-of-PR considering they came all the way from China). Yes I'm 6' tall and was on 4.5 inch stilettos (Boutique 9 suede booties from Bloomies, sale score!) that night, white sequin top, black patent belt, black ruffle skirt --- all from White House Black Market.



It's easy to find out where I was in the pic.: judging from the height. Yes the guys are not on National Basketball League but they are decently tall.
And this is really a very very very bad shot: for all of us except our president standing in the middle! Guess he's the only one in focus, and the rest of us all have to put up with some sort of awkward god-knows-what-turned-out-every-once-in-a-while picture thing. Well but the reunion is the idea. Yes everybody in the pic are either Ph.D's or Ph.D-to-be's: but really we do not look nerdy, in real life!

And I did not realize earlier but my top seemed a size too large: I got the XS last year;it fit well then when I tried it on, but I never got a chance to wear it until this Monday. Does it mean I've managed to lose a few pounds? Hopefully!

No Anthro sales on Tuesday. Worked on some final changes to my project report through the day and stayed up till 2am and hurray! New sale items!
Bought the chalk and charcoal skirt: love the print and the name; it reminds me of the Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder classic "Ebony and Ivory".
And picked up a pair of tights (Hue tights are the best: size M fits me perfectly~back in China I could never find tights long enough for me, or pants either), a metal cuff and a belt.
And then I stood up. I'll skip the details of what happened in the next 10 min. but for 5 min. I was really scared though I do not panic and 10 min. later I was in the hospital ER.
And I was there for the next 4 hrs (except for the 20min in between that I finally managed to persuade the head nurse and the on-duty officer to send me back to my office to get a book to read: that was a very wise move). It turned out to be a partially-funny-partially-embarrasing-nothing-life-threatening experience after all, but I did need a good rest and spent about 24 hrs in the past 2 days sleeping:)

Received a package from Dillard's last night: my first purchase there, a dress from ABS by Allen Schwartz. At 70% off the price is unbeatable. The xs fits quite well though fairly large in the waist: but I guess it was part of the design after all?

Finished the last episode of The West Wing tonight. A great show.
Gotta watch JAG after this.
Found a few items on Anthro that got further marked down: picked up a silk tunic and a belt. Free shipping is the best.
Handed in my final particle physics homework set: not perfectly done as I worked on it during the past two days, and I wasn't really at my best during the past two days.
One more week of the quarter left (more like 5.5 days): got 2 more project papers, 2 presentations and a poster session.
It would be a lot of fun.

Another perfect Friday?

Uh-oh two weeks since my last posting, or my last "perfect Friday"?
My email signature for yesterday: "Homework due day and pay day countdown: when one door closes another sure opens." ;-P you know what I meant~

Had class this morning, the last lecture on the experimental part for the "Physics for the LHC" course: well since the professor's office is across the door from mine I would not say I'd miss him.

12 days to go till the end of the quarter.
During which I needa finish one hw set, 3 project papers, 2 ppt presentations and 1 poster presentation. Oh yeah we still have one more week of class. and my RA duties.
But of course I am the forever cheerful-when-there-is-nothing-to-cheer-about-self-deprecating-jokes-would-always-work kinda girl, so I actually find my days filled with fun.

Here are some snapshots:

Monday, Physics for the LHC lecture.
Prof.: we are going to have a mid-term this Friday.(Apparently he was joking, and the class was fully aware of the fact that he was joking, and he was fully aware of the fact that the class was aware that he was joking.)
Iris (genuinely stunned and frightened): what?@!!
(silence for 2 seconds; all eyes on Iris; all laughing at Iris...)
Prof.: okay we are going to have a mid-term on Friday, for Iris ONLY.

Friday, Physics for the LHC lecture.
Up on one side of the blackboard, a dreadfully long problem titled: "Midterm exam: for Iris ONLY".
Prof.: Okay while Iris works on her mid-term, we can go on learning about SUSY (super-symmetry).
Iris: (WHAT THE ............ignored the problem ,listened to the lecture)
In the midst of the lecture.
Prof.: Iris, how's the mid-term?
Iris: oh, my SUSY partner is working on it.
(silence for 3 seconds; all eyes on Iris; all laughing...and thinking how "ultra-clever" this gal is)
After class.
Iris (talking to pal): would the Prof. fail me after my remark?
Pal: no don't worry； his SUSY partner would fail your SUSY partner.
Iris: ...................................

Well aside from a hard-ware experiment/research course, the other two courses I'm taking this quarter are, Physics for the LHC and Particle Physics. (talk about being 100% HEP this quarter?) And apparently both demand a final project paper plus presentation.
Iris (talking to Pal No.2): would it be possible if I write the same paper for both courses...
Pal 2.0: well I guess no because C*** (instructor for one of the courses) and his wife (instructor for the other course) are married?
Iris: needa amend the Sixth Amendment---no double-jeopardy attached here!

Anyway, I guess I've wandered far enough away from the title of this blog.
Another perfect Friday.
Had class this morning.
Lunch time. Called two Chicago Anthro stores trying to locate the Hinterland dress.
First store.
The lady apparently did not know the Hinterland dress. And neither of us thought of getting the item No.
SA: would you please describe the dress?
Iris: well it is a faux-wrap dress, flowery prints on white cotton material. It's not been out for long but it's already sold out online...it's really pretty...(I was one step away from saying Roxy and Chrissy and all the other lovelies from the blogger world had just reviewed it) oh oh let me give you the official description "Golden tulips and amethyst irises grow wild on pieced and pleated cotton sateen..."
(Iris burst out laughing: obviously she found this "poetic" description funny)
SA (thinking she got a crazy customer on the other end): no we do not have the dress.
Second store.
The SA asked for the item number (that's called "professional") and a size2 was happily placed on hold for me.
Iris (to office mate): I located the dress! It would be mine!
Office mate: okay...?
Iris: I really thought I missed it. Oh I was about to call store after store till I find it. And I found it here in one of the Chicago stores!
Office mate: okay...? (slowly turning his chair/head away)
Iris: shouldn't you say sth. other than okay at this moment for my effort trying to locate the dress and being able to locate one at last?
Office mate: okay...?
Iris: shouldn't you say "congratulations"? !!!
Office mate: okay...? CONGRATULATIONS!
(one more remark from Iris the very brilliant *** who believes the Higgs would soon be changed into his name, as particles are always named by the ones who find them, would be going nutter than the can of cashews on Iris's table.)
Iris: Thanks! Wanna some cashews?

Leaving a very dazzled office mate, I went shopping.
And the rest is history.
I often takes pride in myself being a physicist+shopaholic (when the Prof. talked about black holes this morning, my immediate reaction was: hey that's my shopping wishlist, i.e. nothing escapes and it is never full): how can you make shopping into a science? How to study the properties of a store, combining its sale cycles (including extra discounts and second mark-downs), popularity of a certain item, necessity of getting the item etc. to decide when and where and what is the most optimal combination to score an item? How to analyze the lay-out of all the shopping destinations on Mich.Ave (and beyond: like Anthro's on State Street), store locations, expected time spent in a store, likelihood of purchase in a store, expected spending at a store, capped budget and all the others, and get the most time/energy/cost efficient itinerary to hit all the stores in mind and come out with the best purchases the limited amount of dough can buy? And there's the art of "passive & active selection", sth. I'll not mumble on here.
Anyway, Iris the physicist/shopaholic spent 5 hrs shopping downtown today and came back with the following.
From Benetton: a white shirt(size xs) and an umbrella, both 50% off
From White House Black Market: the Nautical Striped Chain SS jacket (size4), White Short with Striped Belt (size2), Starfish Jean Belt(size xs); all on sale about 50% off, extra 5% off with WHBM card, extra $25 off $125 with coupon, and extra $20 gift card earned.
From Ann Taylor Loft: khaki colored cotton&linen blend dress with sash, $79.5 original price, and I brought the final size0 (my size in Ann Taylor/LOFT) for $9.8 after tax.
From Bloomingdale: an Anne Klein dress, $148 original price, marked down to $96, extra 40% off sale today, and extra 20% off with coupon ->$50 after tax.
From Anthropologie: well the Hinterland dress, the size2 fits really well (I am amazed to see the curves my body displays wrapped in this dress: I'm 6' tall and I'll not reveal my weight but I am a size0/2 ) I love the prints and the length is ideal: just a few inches above my knees so the back slit would not cause me extra worry (why wouldn't Ann Taylor make her dresses just a bit longer, and a more defined waist pls pls pls?)
And all the extras: skincare from Clinique and Origins, a purchase from VS, and two bargain books from Borders (both politics related: yes, physics, fashion, and all the politics/crime/warfare/law related stuff, the three passions of my life.)
And made some quick returns here and there. And read through this June issue of Vogue at Borders: frankly fairly disappointed, a rather thin and unsubstantial issue; I checked twice to see if there were chunks of pages missing.

Gotta go to bed now. Will sleep in tomorrow and start on one of my final project papers.
Thinking about watching a war-related movie for Memorial Day. "Flags of Our Fathers" seems to be a good choice for now. I should read the book this summer.
Iris, fighting the end-of-quarter Battle of Iwo Jima with foreseeable casualties of free time.

God bless all.

A Perfect Friday?

It has been quite a while since the last time I wrote here.
Well in some pretty in vain efforts to prove I'm not that lazy: I do keep two blogs in two languages respectively, and I am, yes, still a physics Ph.D candidate.

A sudden urge to write something today: 'cos it has been a pretty perfect Friday?
Slept in a bit in the morning; was NOT late for my 10:30am class; went to a talk by POTUS's current science advisor (served with free lunch: the purpose of which exceeds the talk itself;-P); got back to office and tried to start working but got distracted by Jcrew's extra 20% off sale, and bought the tuxedo vest (wouldn't it look super cool with a white T+dark wash denim or white shirt+dress pants/pencil skirt + chain necklace?).
Felt I could get no work done if I stayed in my office (the point: in front of my laptop) so walked over to Borders', reviewed my particle physics lecture notes, read LIFE's special book issue on WW2 and the May issue of Lucky, and bought SIX books for $10.93 in total AFTER tax! (LOOOOOOOOOOVE Borders' bargain books, the ones I got today are: Little Women, Phantom of the Opera, Iliad, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury--this is a collection of some of the best closing arguments from famous trials including cases like the Chicago 7, my most hearted purchase today, a book about modern warfare, and a book about WW2 by RFK's son. I think the focus of my leisure readings this summer would be on warfare esp. WW2, and the secondary focus would be split between law/crime related and classic literature.)
Got home and picked up 2 packages, one is a pair of wedges from Mango's online outlet, the other a silk dress from F21. Okay the F21 dress: I have no idea how it could ever be worn as a dress; I just adjusted the straps to be a bit shorter and they hit right above/at my hips--- a perfect blush-colored layered silk top with thin straps! Imagining pairing it with a white satin belt and light colored wide leg pants when it gets warmer.
And it's back at the office, dinner+watching and trying to finish season6 of The Practice, and hopefully some more readings into particle physics. And then back home to read TIME's special book issue on WW2 and this week's TIME, which comes on Fridays as always:)
(And I know this would be just another crazy weekend filled with work: hopefully I will/won't dream of me sitting on the jury hearing the defense arguing cases in terms of 4-vectors in Minkowski space again...)

I feel I need pants/shorts: maybe I have been wearing dresses toooooooo much?
And great expectations for next week's "alleged" Anthro HUGE SALE? Actually I do not see so much that I really wanna, except maybe for one top and one skirt and one dress and...;-P

Ending with 2 of my favourite quotes of the week: how well do they justify my spendings?
"I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet." With it I bought a Free People tuxedo jacket from Bloomies yesterday: come on it was on second markdown 70% off...
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."---Oscar Wilde
So I bought the Jcrew vest today~ ~
See how rational I am? lol~

Have a wonderful weekend.
God bless all.

No Iris No Cry

I really wanna cry.
Work work work.
I actually enjoy the work I'm doing.
And I've really been learning a lot in the process.
I really should be happy.
Lecturers. Papers. Notes and textbooks. Assignments. Research.
I am doing sth. I truly love and learning a lot along the way.
But somehow it just does not seem enough.
It just does not feel right.
1. I am working hard.
2. I am working on what I love.
3. I am learning a lot.
4. I still spare myself the time to watch a couple of episodes of "The Practice" or a bit of casual reading&blog browsing.
5. I have packages on the way, new shoes and stuff.
I really should be happy.
Yet I am not.
Sitting alone in my office and suddenly I just would let go and cry a bit.
What is wrong?
Cheer up. Cheer up.
Things will get done.
And I have all the reasons to be grateful.
Maybe I just over-think stuff.
Be happy.

God bless all.

Just feel like writing

One hour before the department weekly symposium.
And I suddenly just feel like writing.
Went home at 3:30 am, washed up and read a bit (eh research related, not TIME again) and went to bed at 5:00 am.
My alarm clock went off at 8 am as I have to meet my hardware project supervisor at 9:45.
But then I figured I'd just sleep for a few more minutes.
So I reset the time to 8:25.
And then I fell asleep again.
And I dreamed.
I dreamed I was at my office, frenetically writing up programs and submitting GRID jobs.
And somehow I felt that I had to got all the jobs submitted by 8:25.
And at about 8:20 sth. I realized a huge mistake in my programs.
And I was trying to correct them up like crazy.
And then my alarm clock went off.
And it took me a few seconds to come to that no, I was not at my office yet: I was still in bed.
Got up and quickly shower, facial, make-up.
Put on my vintage Ungaro silk dress. It's a beautiful dress, pink rose petals scattered on dark silk, draping in front and zipper detail at the sleeve cuffs, impeccable material and details.
And I stormed out the door.
Got to my office at 9:52.
Email from my supervisor, "where are you?"
- -//
Met with her and another post-doc I've been working with at CERN.
Meeting lasted till 10:30.
Went directly to an Associate Memory mini-Workshop.
Workshop lasted till 1pm with no stop.
At one point in the middle I felt like I was about to pass out.
Not sure why, just a funny feeling in my chest and not getting enough air.
Lucky me my phone rang so I had the perfect reason to step outside to answer it.
And to get air.
And it was the salon calling me to confirm my haircut reservation for tomorrow.
Still something to look forward to.
Got back, had lunch and some random web browsing, took a half hour nap at my desk.
Before I was writing up this post I was trying to read over my notes for my particle physics class.
And then symposium.
And then a bit more studying?
We have the department's monthly "Women for Physics" dinner tonight.
Again sth. else to look forward to.
Life is good.
Each time I see my lovely lovely lovely advisor I can feel how lucky I am.
Gotta work hard and keep working.

God bless all.

It's Sunday

It's Sunday.
Which means I have to start working.
Last night I did a ton of laundry (believe or not, having lived here for half a year I've never used the laundry room in my apartment building: I hand-wash anything washable; and the rest go to the dry cleaners of course. Reasons? It saves money...well for a girl who just spent 200 bucks on clothes and accessories yesterday this hardly seems a reliable excuse. I guess partly it is better for the clothes and partly, I guess hand-washing gives me the little upper body exercise that I could use? ;-P) and snugged into bed between my pillows and read. I mean actually read "read" "read", nothing academic related, I read last week's issue of TIME.
And it felt so good.
I just ignored the particle physics book and lecture notes in my bag and read for half an hour.
I felt like a drug addict finally getting a quick fix: the moment of ecstasy,and the guilt that accompanies it.
And I started feeling somewhat a bit sorry: what has grad school done to me that I would feel this way for reading TIME on a Saturday night?
It reminds me of high school, when I was in the provincial science experimental program (whatever it is called): basically 40 kids got picked from our province (well I come from China so it is a province with a population over 10 million...) and stuck into an intensive program aiming at the national science olympiads. We had classes from 7:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. with really short meal breaks. One night when we were supposed to have a math class, the biology instructor came in and told us somehow a change of schedule and we'd have biology class that night.
I remember the roaring cheers in the classroom, books and hats thrown into the air.
What is so happy about that? It's not like the teacher came in and said the class was canceled.
Well the thing is: if the class got canceled we'd have to go home into the pile of work; but instead it was BIOLOGY, compared with math and physics which took up more than 50% of our lives, a lecture of biology is almost as pleasing and easy as a musical; you just listen, and try to enjoy.
Well alright gotta start working now.
Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight: I have a 9am group meeting tomorrow followed by 2 classes and one lecture. Some Monday.

God bless all.

Shopping is a girl's best friend

"When I shop, the world gets better."
--From "Confessions of a Shopaholic"

Last summer at CERN, my office mates joked to me that I should watch this movie.
And I told them that I did watch it.
And what I remembered is this line.

What a week.
Yesterday is department open house. Later in the afternoon the prospective students and a bunch of luckily selected grad students went downtown to a nice Mexican restaurant for dinner. And during the really really nice meal (4 appetizers+1 salad+1 entree+1 dessert) at one point I felt I was falling asleep. Well I was not the only one, two guys at our table ordered coffee.
Went shopping today. My Saturday routine.
Actually I started thinking I was only going downtown to return a bunch of stuff.
And when I got back look what I got at the places I visited.

Anthropologie: returned a silk skirt(lovely skirt at amazing price but not quite my style) and a top; bought a lovely wool hat with a flowery tie and a corset belt(the suede leather belt is marked down to $9.95 from the original $58 or sth.?)

F21: returned a lace jacket (really nice jacket and quite well made for its price, but it is just too short for my 6' frame); bought a canvas bag with faux leather trim, nice summer/nautical look.

Ann Taylor: returned a silk dress (well I bought the size2 online, found out it was too big for me; so repurchased a size0 in store last week...); bought 2 more silk dresses and a silk blouse (well it is 25% off sale price so like 60% or more so off original price and silk is so perfect for spring and summer and the prints are beautiful and after so many consecutive dress sale events isn't it just amazing to find the beauties in size0 when all sizes below 10 are sold out online...)

White House Black Market: returned the laser print belt (further marked down so I just purchased another one...sth. about getting free shipping with the black book membership) and bought a metal chain belt/necklace. I'll probably use it more as a necklace: let's see how it works.

Borders: bought 3 bargain books. Othello, Partners in Command (about Marshall and Eisenhower) and a poem collections by Emily Dickinson. I have a huge bedside table+drawer full of books that I've been trying to read a bit every night: so far it has proven difficult to keep the habit. I still remember once I found King Lear among the bargain books and when I was checking it out the girl asked me whether it was for school, and I told her it's for fun, and she gave this whole "who-reads-King Lear-for-fun"kind of look. Well I don't know: I do feel embarrassed for how little Shakespeare I've read; hopefully I'll have time to finish these two by, I don't know, this summer?

Well and I received 2 packages from Anthro, today and the day before. The lean lines tunic in blue, the xs fits TTS and though it is too short for me to wear as a dress, paired with white skinnies and dark booties it should pop a fresh look: a bit different from my usual dress+pumps daily assemble though. Two pairs of tights. And the boucle cape: somehow a size s popped up online when I was browsing through past catalogs, score!
And another package from WHBM today, the laser print belt again, the dot ruffle sweater and the Elysee asymmetrical hem Skirt.
A second-year told me on the bus yesterday, you are easily the most well-dressed in the department.
I do not know if I should be happy about it.
It reminds me of what our teaching lab director told me last year, it's rare to see someone dressed like this around here; you are really setting new standards.
And I said, I hope it is in terms of academic work.

Speaking of work, again I've got no work done today.
Well it's Saturday.
Gotta work tomorrow, or rather, today.
It's already the first hour of Sunday.

A Quick Word or Two

A few quick words while I wait for the safe ride to get me home at 2:30 am.

The first two weeks of the spring quarter.
I am tired, stressed, and still have heaps of work to do.
I thought I'd have time to resume my bedtime reading habits after the candidacy.
Now I do do bedtime reading, but just physics.
Luckily I still shop and I still watch the TV series I've followed for all the years.
Criminal Minds is releasing a spin-off. I do not know if I should be thrilled or just sad: the show is never going back to what it used to be in the first 2 seasons~ that is called CLASSIC.
Early morning tomorrow/today, gotta finish homework and research preparations.
The only thing fun is to think about what I should wear.

Put it together and pull them through, Iris.

I have all the reasons to be grateful yet I'm not happy

Passed the C.E.

Quoting from a friend of mine: "you are now officially a Ph.D candidate: be confident."

I have all the reasons to be grateful yet I am not happy.

I passed the C.E. I am getting my master's this summer (at age 20) and in my first year of the many years to come to get my Ph.D. I having an amazing advisor, being able to work with whom brings nearly as much joy as passing the C.E. does.

Yet I am still not happy. I am stressed, distraught: there are still some silly messes that I need to clean up, messes that I believe are not my fault nor any other's; it may be all just a misunderstanding. I just hope no feelings get hurt or hurt too much in the process.

Got my fellowship check and expecting my stipend check tomorrow for the TA work I've done for this month: hopefully the last TA stipend check I'll ever get. Start as an RA from the 3rd quarter is sth. I've always planned, so is passing the C.E. by the 3rd quarter.

So far things seem to be doing okay according to plan. I really should not and cannot ask for more. I have a wonderful professor and a wonderful group to work with: and I'll build my identity from there.

Work hard and things would eventually work out. I know I cannot please everyone. And the subtle politics within the purest of the purest academic rings.

Well getting paid means I have a bit of money to indulge my shopping habit just a bit. Saw this absolutely stunning dress on Etsy yesterday:
I'm still not sure whether or not to get it. The pricey is not outrageous but still a considerable amount for a grad student. And I'm not sure how I might pull together the style~ and again the ultimate question when I'd ever get to wear it?
yet the dress possesses such a charm, the roses and the beads and the cascading ribbons, all in dark silk that makes it so beautiful and delicate almost to the point of heart-aching sadness. The silhouette reminds me of the shades of a lean tree in the moonlight, on which roses bloom and never seem to wither with time, and a silent song echoes in the darkness of the night.

A Spring without a Break

Spring but no break.
How sad is that?
But I did give myself a little break, from yesterday after QM final to now.
Watched TV last night. And then slept from 12:30am till 3:30 pm, 15 hrs straight.
Dreamed of my teachers in college, my mom, and the scenes boiled down to my college entrance exams and interviews nearly 5 years ago. Messy things and I cried in my dreams. Woke up with no tears but an echoing headache that took a long hot shower to go away.
Got dressed and went to school. Well I keep most of my stuff there including my laptop so home is pretty much just a place for shower and sleep, oh and getting dressed.
Had wonton soup and egg rolls for dinner. Vegetable juice freshly out of the fridge (have a small one in my office). Random browsing on the web. Girls' blogs. Etsy. I keep adding stuff into my shopping cart on Etsy and then move them to my favorites' list: well it is the last 1/3 of a month so I guess payday is not that far away.
What is really near is the C.E. 5 days away. The thought itself scares me. But I find it really hard to study for it right now, I mean right this moment tonight. Surely I have to move into full study mode tomorrow.Though it is officially spring break. The department arranging every year's spring C.E. DURING spring break may be viewed as hypocritical, or merely CONSIDERATE? (so we at least get a few days to study for it after the finals...)
The weather has been incredibly nice these days. So warm and sunny you barely need a jacket. The perfect season for silk, and linen and cotton. A week from now, hopefully I'll be in blooming mood for new spring dresses.
Bought this lovely dress from Etsy earlier this month. I think I'll go watch "Alice in Wonderland" in it some time early next month. The previous owner is such a lovely lady with an amazing family. And she sent me a small but special gift with the dress. This is one of the things I love about vintage hunting on Etsy: from time to time you meet clothing that are one of a kind, and the people behind them just make them so much more special than they already are.

I'm so tired I wanna cry

The title says it all.
The past week has been heretic.
Spent entire past weekend working on the last E&M assignment. Could have done better (should have done better). Still, learned quite a lot so it's all worth it.
Monday. Started preparing for the C.E.
Tuesday. Class. Preparing for the C.E. One of the best things happened that day. I officially (at least I think so?) signed to my current advisor.
The moment I walked out of the HEP assistant's office door, I could almost hear the springy bounciness in my footsteps.
It's a dream I've held fast to for an entire year.
Ever since I decided to come to this school, an exact one year ago.
I've never told others before, but part of the reason I chose this school, was hoping that I could have a chance to work with Prof.M.
I waited.
I observed.
I contemplated.
When it approaches the end of the second quarter, I could feel it's about time.
And so it is.
I am grateful as ever.
Along comes even greater stress.
I told our department executive officer that "thinking of the C.E. could make me wake up in the middle of the night in a panic attack."
And I was not just being dramatical.
The EXAM.

Have been studying for it for the past 3 and a half days.
And today it's Friday and I just feel too weary to keep working.
I guess it's okay to take just one day off?

Watched a bit TV and went downtown late this afternoon: returned a skirt (only 'cos I bought another one when it got further marked down) and the sweetheart dress to Anthro; returned a belt and a dress to WHBM and picked up another belt at WHBM. Sometimes when I'm doing all these buying and returnings and exchanges I feel like someone with an eating disorder: in and out for that fleeting moment of ecstasy.
I guess I have reached some point when I really have too many clothing, so the thing is no longer to fill the closet but to be inspired by it.
Saw this lovely mink wrap on Etsy, not sure whether or not to get it? If yes then it would be the first piece of real fur I own, but the question is when I'd ever have a chance to wear it?
The thing is, before the C.E. I really do not feel like wearing anything particular.

I guess I shall go to bed early tonight,and then work my way through the coming 12 days.

God bless all.

It takes time

By the time I went to dinner at around 7pm, I have worked out 3 out of 6 problems of my E&M hw.
By this hour when I'm posting my blog, I have finished 3 out of 6 problems of my E&M hw. (well I did took a long dinner break and broused blogs and a bit of Etsy-brousing ;-P)
When the professor switched the 2-week HW into 2.5 week, I thought he was just being too kind.
Now I know he is just being reasonable.
When I told my classmate that I plan to finish E&M today (starting today), he stared at me for 5 seconds and said, syllable by syllable which almost sounded like letter by letter: "good luck."
And now I know I need more than just luck.
It just takes time.
But within the time spent on it, I've thought the problems through, got ideas, and understood a lot more about what we've learned in class.
So all in all it's worth it.
Again quoting from this very lovely classmate of mine: "Iris you just have to keep working."
This is a classmate who believes the most enjoyable thing in the world is going home from the reading room at 2:30 a.m., go home, open a can of beer and read a book of physics.
I love physics. I sometimes say I seek serenity in the world of particles. But I cannot relax in it.
Well this is a classmate who upon hearing me say that I like fashion and shopping, murmured "eccentric".
Sometimes I do feel this way among my dear classmates.

Gotta grab groceries tomorrow morning and then go to school and study for the C.E. If I can meet some classmates I can discuss EM hw with them; if not I'll just discuss the problems and work them through on Monday. Gotta finish grading the kids' HW and lab reports as well. If everything works out fine, this would be my last hw & lab report set to grade, though my TA duties for this quarter would not be over till after the finals. Still work ahead. It takes time.

So Sunday and Monday: study one set of C.E.; finish EM hw (this is not an option, hw due Tues.); finish grading; go to the Monday morning group meeting and afternoon lecture; get some paperwork done; and I still wanna watch the Academy awards ceremony and House and TBBT on Monday night.

What a plan.

It takes time. But hopefully I can get them finished well.

Went shopping yesterday afternoon till early evening. Saks beauty week: complimentary facial at Cleo De Peau and bought 3 items since it's $100-$25 plus gifts. Returned a Calvin Klein leopard print wool coat to Macy's and a wool jacket to Jcrew. Picked up a lilac metal bangle at Jcrew (thinking it would go well with my lilac sweater from Benneton or lilac silk blouse from Kate Spade). Stopped by Club Monaco, and score: a wool blazer for $39 (originally 248) and a silk shirt dress for $29, oh and three pocket notebooks for $1 total. The blazer is a size6 and the dress a size2. I continue to realize that my height and build allows me to go with a wide range of sizes, esp. with outerwear, basically, 0 to 6 could all have a chance to work:)

Oh the two Anthro dresses in my previous posts. Now I have BOTH. The great heights shift finally went on sale and I snatched it right away. Absolutely adorable and I wore it shopping yesterday, and every single one I met on the street, in the stores wherever complimented my dress and my coat (DKNY wool ruffle coat winter white, $90 sale price from Nordstrom). The name of the dress "great heights" just carries so much aspiring expectations: it always reminds me of President Clinton's second inaugural speech, the closing remarks "from the height of this place, and the summit of this century, let us go forth".
The swinging sweetheart dress, well, the size2 fits if not a bit on the bigger side, and it is adorable, but so far it is not doing well enough to convince me to keep it. No not for $168. I already have a few contrast dresses, and at $168 it would be THE MOST expensive dress I've ever bought and it somehow does not justify the title. If it ever goes on sale...but this one at the moment is most likely going back.

That being said, my heart races for this adorable piece. Found on Etsy.
Isn't it just gorgeous? The flower detail near the hem is extremely impressive.
But when would I ever get a chance to wear it?
I already have a couple really beautiful party dresses that I really do not feel I can ever wear to school.
But again every girl deserves a dress that answers to her lust instead need, that she slips in in her dreams and swirl like a princess, dancing as no one is watching but to the rhythm of her heart.

An Unsettle Mind

Really really confused days.
Need to work, but finding it really difficult to focus.
Am I not pushing myself hard enough? Or am I just too much stressed?
The quarter is pushing to an end, though it still feels like Christmas was yesterday, or at least, I'd just got back from D.C.
It is such an important quarter, yet so far I am the least satisfied with what I've accomplished.
Really really need to stop idling online or on other stuff and get down to get serious business done.
Work hard, play hard.
If you dilute play into work then both are messed up.
That is the simple truth.

That said, if I had all the time in the world I really love spending time browsing the gals' blogs and going over items on Etsy.
There are so many lovely finds.
I love this dress and I want it to be mine. Though it is a tag too big for me.
Nautical styles and polka dots, military and neutral tones, spring flowers and simple white, clogs and wedges:
this really ought to be a good year.

3rd Day in DC

Yes I wrote in my first post that this blog is partly inspired by the book I've been reading these days: The Reagan Diaries.
I thought if the Commander in Chief could write a few lines a day, I could always find the time to do so as well.
And as days go by I realize how much commitment that is: all that makes me admire one of the greatest presidents even more.

Okay so this is my 3rd day in DC. Going back home tomorrow afternoon.
The talk yesterday morning went pretty much as I had expected, no surprises: it's just a ten minute talk. The only regret is how I might have better managed my time so I could have got more results into the talk, but again that's not of much helping thinking that over now.
Went over to the "GOVERMENT" area yesterday afternoon with friends. Got off the Metro at Smithsonian and walked to the Capitol, and then back along Penn. Ave. all the way to the White House. Across the Washington Monument and back to the Metro station near the Post Office. It is very much a pity not being able to see the Wall(it was getting late) or Arlington(closed due to the weather), but again the highlights: 1. Got to see the J.Edgar Hoover building. I guess most of my smiles over the trip was left there. (Okay I admit I watched too many TV shows about the G-men.) 2. After walking several miles through 15 or more inches of snow on 3 inch thin heels, I gotta be somewhat proud of myself.

Went to bed at 11pm last night after reading the Time publication "Year 1968" for about half an hour. Slept till...12:37 pm today, just in time to get myself ready for the T.D.Lee talk at 1:30pm about his mentor Enrico Fermi. Some fun talks in the afternoon. Gotta finish reading the book on 1968 tonight: WHAT A YEAR was that.

I know it has been a few days, but for quite a whilte I have not mustered up enough courage or composure to write about this: the passing-away of our Alexander McQueen. I just cried out in my office when I saw the news after class on Thursday.
Really, what should I say? This is different. For the past 5 years when I slowly nurtured my love and understanding for fashion, there has been the passing-away of Gianfranco Ferre and Yves Saint Laurent among others; but they had their fair share of years for the most part, and the world had the luxury to prepare themselves for this to happen some day. But not in the case for Lee McQueen. This past winter I was eyeing on a McQ dress at Neiman Marcus, (it's a beautiful blue sheath with nice details), but then I said to myself there's no rush to get it since Lee was going to bring to us better pieces in the future. And now the dress is no longer available, neither is the genius mind behind it. Who would have anticipated, and who would be able to take over and resume his legacy?
The world awaits for an answer, while Lee went forever away into his world where every brick of the castle, every leaf of the tree and every snow flake that fell has a spirit singing silently the song of life and mystery.
R.I.P Lee.

Weekend in DC

Arrived in DC this afternoon. A brisk 1 and half hour flight from my city.
It's a peculiar sense seeing the Washington Monument from the plane's window right before touch down. My first trip to the Capital. For the APS meeting though.
I have blown up my budget for this month already, and still I keep finding lovely stuff that I wish I could own. Call me out-of-date but I just got to know the wonderland of Etsy, either vintage or hand-made, it has so many unique and absolutely adorable pieces. Hopefully the items I've been eyeing on will still be available when I get back and get reimbursed for the trip.
Meanwhile I saw this lovely dress from Anthro. I found I have absolutely no immunity towards two-bodice contrast dresses: I already have one from Calvin Klein and one from Tadashi Shoji; I tried on one from BCBG and it did not fit though; and I still whine over one from Trina Turk that sold out of my size before I could snatch it.
How could I ever manage to save money out of my grad student's stipend if I keep shopping like this? Well now there's always that line from "Confessions of a Shoppaholic": "when I shop the world gets better."
I made the last minute decision that I'll not bring any of my textbooks or homework sets over, just the stuff for my talk and a book: Time's special hard-cover on the year 1968, what a year, and how much I look forward to reading it.
I guess I should get back to preparing my talk. After the talk tomorrow morning, I can assume I'm here in DC for a 2 day vacation: sleep, reading, and hopefully some sight-seeing. Of course 2 days is much too short for seeing the nation's Capital, hopefully I can come back around sometime later this year, if I can save up enough for a trip.

God bless all.

A Room of My Own

Virginia Woolf said, a girl needs money and a room of her own to write fiction.

I live on a grad student's stipend, 1/3 of which goes to the rent of a two-bedroom apartment I share with my roommate; however I'm not tempting to write fiction.

Have been blogging on another site for a year and a half now, a site in my native language, Chinese. I still post there about once a week. But still I wanna a place with more freedom, and more privacy; a place where I can just record my everyday, and by everyday I do mean every single day, hopefully. Started reading "The Reagan Diaries" this week, and I have to admit that served as the final straw for me to start this new blog. While my other blog becomes more of a show spot, I sincerely hope this place would be my backstage, a room truly of my own.

This is a truly beautiful dress from Anthropologie; tried it on at store; still waiting for it to go on sale. The name adds to its appeal:" Great Heights Shift". And the patterns, the skylines of some city, somehow I can just take it as the city I'm living in. From the height of this place, let's wait and see.